Nurturing...

“I have brought you nothing but blessings” are the words from the Guru that guide me through difficult situations and the life challenges I face. If I can understand what I am meant to learn, it seems that I move through the challenge more quickly and get to a stronger place on the other side. This feels true whether it is a physical challenge or an emotional struggle. These words are a real comfort to me and I am grateful for the guidance and grace of the Guru.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day and my intention for the the yoga class I led was to offer an opportunity to be acknowledged by the universe for all the nurturing energy we give as mothers, caregivers, spouses, teachers, and spiritual brothers and sisters. This came straight from my heart, and from my own wrestling with the limitations of my capacity to wear several nurturing hats at the same time.

Being a caregiver to a parent is a great honor, a high calling, and a opportunity to inquire into what the Guru said, “I have brought you nothing but blessings” because it is also a great challenge. In the magical space after class, when my heart was so open and I felt so connected to the guidance from my Guru, I got thinking about what nurturing means, and what opportunity being a care giver has given me to learn.

No matter the situation, care giving can be a great challenge. It requires selflessness. It demands your time and energy and pulls you away from other priorities. It can create resentment, anxiety, and tremendous stress on yourself and your other relationships that are important to you. It can create judgment and strain in friendships and other intimate relationships because it is hard for friends to understand your choices. It creates a constant push and pull about where you should be, where you want to be, what you should be doing and what you wish you could do.

As I feel the charge of all this effecting my energy systems and my emotions today, I keep being pulled back to that word, “nurturing” and something I heard the Kirtan artist Wah! say about why Kirtan artists perform. She said, “We immerse ourselves in this energy because we need it, not because there is some service to be done to humanity.” It’s no coincidence what resonates with us. I needed to hear that, “because we need it.” I need the nurturing energy so I am being immersed in it. As I nurture and care for my mother, the universe is reaching out to hold and care for me, I just need to allow myself to feel that. I need to allow myself to feel the acknowledgement from the universe and the time to replenish by immersing myself in its healing energy and the amazing grace.

I am making an intention to honor the guidance I received. I am going to try to relax and surrender into this time and stop pushing myself so hard. I am going to be present where I am, doing whatever it is I am being asked to do. I am going to pull back from any extra commitments I have made and reevaluate my direction and what is really important to me. Part of this means that I will be postponing the Chakra Immersion at Light on the Hill in June. I will update you on the new date for that retreat along with exciting new projects I am working on including a Chakra Yoga Teacher Training, a Chakra Energetics weekend experience, and an exciting reveal of a very unique Chakra experience this fall.

I am a very private person and don’t easily share my personal struggles, because I don’t want others to feel they have to take care of me - which is interesting isn’t it? I hope that sharing my intimate thoughts and the guidance I receive will offer support to others struggling with similar situations. Thank you for your love and continued support. I feel so grateful to be part of this community that nurtures growth and honors acknowledgment of the spirit.

Om Namah Sivaya

I honor all we are capable of becoming